Vote No For Valentines

Because that’s when you become completely and utterly screwed… when another human looks at you in the way that you had always hoped to be looked at. It’s at that moment when you know that all bets are off, and you have everything to lose.  But this infatuation cannot go unnoticed; there is that one day of the year that ultimately validates his commitment to you. The not-so-unexpected delivery of an oversized bouquet of red roses is typically considered to be the go-to Ryan Gosling move that any girl (whether she admits it or not) secretly hopes for on the 14th.  Being caught off guard with sheer romance, is when all questionable love is finally confirmed and you can’t help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world…because you along with every other girl in a monogamous relationship was involved in an extensive and thoroughly thought out master plan to capture your heart. And then there is that other portion of humans among us, those single hearts that have been abandoned from society in tribute to love. Where they have been somewhat exiled from public interaction and deprived of drowning in romance. This is the one night of the year where they refrain from leaving the comfort and safety of their own home, and let cupid conquer the city with one candle lit dinner and red rose at a time. In my opinion, there’s only one or two ways to beat the all-consuming pandemic, and that’s with either an army supply of cookie dough and the company of Bridget Jones or with your favourite females. The way that I see it, is that unless you’re counting on being the 0.1% where you just so happen to meet the perfect stranger on your way to the corner store and fall hopelessly in love then and there, or you’re sure that ‘the one’ is going to without any warning knock on your door or continuously throw pebbles at your bedroom window to confess his love for you (in the rain of course), then you’re going to wake up just as single tomorrow as you were today. With either an over-indulged sugar stomach ache or with the satisfaction that you didn’t let this one day of the year ruin all hope in finding that head-over-heels-sweaty-palms kind of love. It’s at this crossroads where you choose to not let your life be ruined with the googled corny quote written on a card that you didn’t receive, or the oversized teddy bear that you wouldn’t have known what to do with post Valentines. Rather, you embrace the temporary yet fabulous moment of being single, dust off those Tony Bianco’s that you had promised to only purchase in honor to save for a ‘special occasion’, round up the other valentine depression victims, give a big ‘F@#k You’ to the over-the-top-loved-up couple sitting next to you sharing the same spaghetti strand, and prove to the world that you and your girlfriends deserve to be pampered in this explosion of love too..because after all, our girlfriends are our soul mates.

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